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GUTTED

I heard  you speak the word…married.

My mind froze. My heart stopped.

I couldn’t  breathe as it entered my body 

cutting out the space where you used to be.

Gutted. Eviscerated.

Excised with no anesthetic.

Will it still be there tomorrow?

There is no tomorrow.

I didn’t die, but we did;

taking time away with no reprieve of the past,

leaving me disfigured, severed.

Like the last time.

Love no longer has your face or body 

to invade my dreams.

Now your memory has a fence around it. An inner: No!

Irreparably, it cannot be otherwise; because it is.

It already is.

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BOOK ANNOUNCEMENT…

Coming soon – The upcoming release of Ronaye’s  book by British publisher in London, England; to be available on Amazon.

                                    

                 …with a broken wing
Expressions of
the Human Spirit

poems by Ronaye Hudyma

Description:

Whether contemporary, classic, or peppered with Elizabethan eloquence, this profound ensemble of 130 poems is not stationary. They move as if conducted with a maestro’s baton –fluid between the euphoria of life and love, the drama, the anguish of death and loss, with every nuance of human emotion spilling upon the pages.

They are poignant words written with the transparency of youth, gathering maturity and experience, evolving to wisdom, into the spiritual realm.

This is not just poetry. There are a million stories in each poem. Once for each of us. From the teenager discovering their individuality, the young adult challenged by relationships and the world around them, to the Elder denizens of Earth, who cherish their memories as veterans of life, this is a book to be read and reread, a keepsake to console, embrace and affirm your recognition of the truth within yourself that is already there.

 

 

A BOOK OF REVELATION

There is no sunset,                   

Only darkness closing in–

the black ink of night spilling upon the pages

of what was once great literature, 

now ending as cheap fiction.

You were written as indelible and

I, only penciled in, then erased.

There are no stars over the marquee, no blinking lights.

It was me who crowned you King of Hearts–

a bit player with a walk-on-part

eclipsed by your shadow, waiting in the wings

for a chance to be your leading lady.

After all these years, all these tears, 

you are gone, like you never were.

Every thought is dissonant with how little I meant to you,

every breath a negation of life

and  how little time I actually spent with you.

There was no you, there was no me.

 My mind conceived you, my heart deceived me 

Until a cold-water awakening

yanked me out of my stupor

from a worldliness sleep

into realms of wakeful truth,

ripping the residue of what remained as love from my eyes.

These words are all I leave you– 

not as a kiss or a touch,

perceptible only by pen and paper.

TRACES

 Love dies slowly;

seeps, as if drained from an open vein

drop by drop, unnoticed,

imperceptible as a thought

while the starved heart quietly expires.

Like you, I want to say things that mock the pen

but there is little need.

I sense it as if it were tactile.

 Still…traces of you linger,

 indelible imprints;

 your memory the messenger

 instilled, encoded and continued

 in my body, blood, and brain

 –an exact replica

waiting to be born again.

NEVER GONNA STOP

When you said goodbye, I felt a part of me had died and gone

But the pain lives on and on.

It’ll never end, although I said “never again.”

I swore I wouldn’t love you anymore.

You’re love and mine is still a part of me that time won’t heal

Nothing can change the way I feel.

And ‘though I’ve tried a million ways, it doesn’t matter what I say or do

I can’t get over you.

Never gonna stop my heart from breaking

Never gonna stop my arms from aching.

Every night I still remember every day we spent together.

Never gonna stop my eyes from crying

Never gonna stop, there’s no use trying

Love can only hurt you. I’m the fool who knows

Cause someone else is holding you and I can’t let you go

Click to Listen to this SONG

 

FIREPROOF

I feel no pain. Ain’t losing sleep.

I sure fell for you but I landed on my feet.

My heart was chained. I cut it loose.

I got burned so bad, but, Baby, now I’m fireproof.

I got love and I’m doing fine.

Got good love, not your crazy kind.

Your old Flame put out the fire, Boy.

Put you out of my mind.

I got love. Adios, we’re through.

You don’t love anyone but you.

I ain’t gonna carry a torch no more

Like you want me to.

I’m fireproof.

He treats me right. Treats me good.

He can do it, Baby—love me like you never could.

So say “bye-bye’. Quit coming around.

You keep turning up and I keep on turning you down.

I got what I wanted, so this is amen.

If you still haven’t got it. Let me tell you again.

 Click here to listen to the FIREPROOF SONG

 

NOT TONIGHT

Say, what’s your name, stranger?

Mine’s Lady Blue.

Say, would you mind, stranger, if I sat next to you?

Please pardon me if I’m impolite. I’m not the type.

I’m a lady, but not tonight.

Not tonight. This damsel’s in distress

So for tonight, would you help me forget?

Morning’s eyes will see the lady that I am

But not tonight. Not tonight.

You’re very kind stranger,

I don’t mind if I do.

Say, would you mind, stranger, if I lean on you?

Now what I’m asking outright ain’t lady-like,

I’ll be alone tomorrow, but not tonight.

Thanks for your gentleman ways. I’ve no regrets,

I don’t know what I should say. I’d like a cigarette.

Just one more time, hold me tight. It’s getting light.

You can leave tomorrow, but not tonight.

Not tonight. This damsel’s in distress

So for tonight would you help me forget?

Morning’s eyes will see the lady that I am

But not tonight. Not tonight.

CLICK TO LISTEN TO THIS AS A SONG
YouTube Video with Lyrics