I AM THAT
If my music didn’t exist,
the words I wrote, the poetry,
each memory that popped up so quickly
into my field of awareness one by one,
If all those things that gave me a sense of “me”
that I grasped and held so dearly
–if they didn’t exist any more….
who or what would I be?
If these things came then left my field of consciousness,
and the only thing that remained was ….
that I was conscious of the awareness that was aware…
I would be that.
My ego woke me up at five o’clock in the morning, fearful that everything I have done–my music, my writing–will perish.
When the person that was me dies,
everything will die with it.
That is probable.
But the questions that I sought the answers to have been answered.
I am not within time.
I am not captive within the confines of space.
I am space.
The limitations of the mind’s clock
will no longer be.
Yes, how like sleep my life was lived.
But I awakened before death.
No longer trapped.
I lived out my individual script
and played my part until I broke free from the conditioning.
I do know what and who I am.
That was the purpose for me being here.
That is the purpose for all of us being here.
All forms dissolve.
They are expressions of Consciousness.
I am Consciousness.
That is the “I”
The sun blinks…yawns, then rises
as the moon falls to earth–a dying rose before the last petal drops–
passing the torch to another day.
The eyes of Earth open
giving witness as Life moves in and out
as bird, leaf, butterfly,
the lowly rock, robin, human;
exalted or reviled.
The One becomes the many and masquerades as form,
each thread weaving a tapestry of existence.
Interconnected. Vanishing. Replenished.
Chariots of shooting stars spin across the night sky
into the Cosmos
between the planets, beyond galaxies.
A glowing halo of conscious space is awakening
becoming aware of itself.
The “I” of Infinity…..
With hands untied and held in yours,
you free me,
release me from the bonds of Earth.
You be me
With no between between us.
The fallacy of you and me,
of all the forms that make a “we”
as does the world through which we see
creating our false identity
but fails to find and fails to see
the portal where we merge into Eternity.
I am starved for silence
besieged by the din of insatiable industry;
its percolating miasma of exhaust
belching in the air.
Bound to form, barred from spirit
I move through a zone of distorted shapes and structures,
consumed by rabid activity
numbed in a heady drowse.
Walk on! Walk past the gray shadowy figures
silhouetted against the concrete and granite walls,
stolidly shuffling by,
lost–trespassers dragged through time,
Alight and linger not
lest delusion overtake you,
and blind you to the truth.
In a single moment,
life ripped apart the last visage of illusion
from my mind;
tearing away the memories that I viewed through,
everything I belonged to…desperately held onto.
I have been painting a portrait of existence;
Each brush stroke filled with the pigment of significance,
masking what was really there.
Behind the window dressing,
reality is laid bare–
an empty space of naked seeing.
How does it feel?
Quiet. Vacant. Still.
The pattern again.
As never before
I feel the threat of loneliness loom
and the lure of the sensual ephemeral pleasures
that may appease the shallow fragmented self
that seeks escape to numb the self
that clamors for truth.
Such a vacuum lingers.
Passionless. Without a country,
belonging nowhere and to nobody;
for attachment forms strings
that pull we puppets.
Have I been asleep for 20 years or merely in a stupor?
When I probe into my inner storehouse,
there is nothing but the echo of a confused cry
tethered within the cell of a false identity
reverberating against the musty darkness