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WHERE WOULD I GO?

I absconded into night, taking the darkness with me
so there would be no shadows on your eyes when morning awoke;
that beams of light sifting through the windows,
could bathe your face, coaxing your lids to open.

No need to search for where I am.
Where would I go?
I dwell in the interim between and beyond earth and sky,  –everywhere and nowhere, where Time is not–beyond reach of each;
Yet I harbor the vicissitudes of both states in every thought you have of me,
every word you speak of me, in every memory you know as me.
My voice resounds in your laughter,
reverberates like cathedral bells calling the faithful.
Look above. The saturated clouds are swollen
with your tears I weep.
Look below, look within. There is no place I am not.
I am the sun on your shoulders
when you walk to the ocean’s edge
and cast your eyes on the shimmering necklace
that clings to the shoreline,
blinking like diamonds as it washes across the sand;
the surge of joy, gratitude, and humility you feel swelling within you like the tide itself. 

Do not mourn.
Listen to the earth’s soul breathing in and breathing out.
Let it wash over you, pulling away the barnacles.
Every time you count the colors of blue in the ocean,
watch the birds soar into infinity,
or see the miracle of a bud bursting into flower,
I will  exist in all these things.
When I walked through the door, taking the darkness with me,
I found…. not death, but life.

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BOOK ANNOUNCEMENT…

Coming soon – The upcoming release of Ronaye’s  book by British publisher in London, England; to be available on Amazon.

                                    

                 …with a broken wing
Expressions of
the Human Spirit

poems by Ronaye Hudyma

Description:

Whether contemporary, classic, or peppered with Elizabethan eloquence, this profound ensemble of 130 poems is not stationary. They move as if conducted with a maestro’s baton –fluid between the euphoria of life and love, the drama, the anguish of death and loss, with every nuance of human emotion spilling upon the pages.

They are poignant words written with the transparency of youth, gathering maturity and experience, evolving to wisdom, into the spiritual realm.

This is not just poetry. There are a million stories in each poem. Once for each of us. From the teenager discovering their individuality, the young adult challenged by relationships and the world around them, to the Elder denizens of Earth, who cherish their memories as veterans of life, this is a book to be read and reread, a keepsake to console, embrace and affirm your recognition of the truth within yourself that is already there.

 

 

THE SOUND OF GOODBYE

You turn away when I look into your eyes.

They tell the truth that you try so hard to hide.

Do you think she can take my place?

You can lie but it’s on your face.

I swear that I hear the sound of goodbye.

Is it as good as you thought that it would be?

Or do you lie in her arms and think of me?

Say no more. What’s that sound?

Do you hear someone call out loud?

I swear that I hear the sound of goodbye.

It’s the beat of my heart crying out from the pain.

It’s the sound of my tears coming down, falling like rain.

It’s voice of a memory that will not die.

It’s the echo of love. The sound of goodbye.

One of these nights she’ll leave you alone

And you’ll be the fool watching love go.

Please come back before it’s too late.

Do you hear something breaking?

It’s the beat of my heart crying out from the pain.

It’s the sound of my tears coming down, falling like rain.

It’s voice of a memory that will not die.

It’s the echo of love. The sound of goodbye.

Listen to the Song on YouTube

WHEREVER YOU ARE

Above me

morning creeps in on golden sandals;

a wayward puff of cloud breaks free

and lingers

until caught and smudged into blue

by the Artist’s thumb.

Can you see it, too—wherever you are?

Above me

the mountains rising from a sun drenched sky

echo a distant music from the heartbeat of Time,

played and breathed

in the benignant air.

Are you listening, like we used to—wherever you are?

Above me

the languorous descent

of a burning moon falling…

gently closing the lid of sleep;

now invisible, smothered in black,

blending earth and sky.

Are you watching, too—wherever you are?

One hour merges into the next.

My eyes grow accustomed to the dark….but not my heart.

 

THE BIG BALLOON

I let you go.

You must have felt it.

That weight I carried that was chained to you, too.

It was so hard to do

With my mind saying:

No! No! Tell me not to go. Your pride, all Will has left you.

And me answering:

You cannot stay. You are not what you say.

 

I don’t have to report to you anymore

telling you everything I think, or feel

or how I disagree with what is and wish it wasn’t;

 Or want to change it to suit me.

Gone, the big balloon that was you,

with strings wrapped and bound so tightly around my heart.

I watched it float away.

Now, we both are free.

 

 

THERE YOU ARE

 Instinctively, I reach out to the empty side of the bed where once you were,

and there you are

in the first thought of the morning:

It was not supposed to happen. But it did.

It was not supposed to be this way. But it is.

 

I rummage through the closet trying to decide what to wear,

and, yes, you are even in there;

your favorite dress I wore the last time I saw you–

hidden in the back against the wall.

Your clothes still fill the dresser drawer,

But you won’t need them anymore.

 

So many things I have yet to relearn:

One for breakfast, or none at all,

two cups for coffee, then putting one back;

expecting to see you sitting in that chair–

you’re everywhere but there.

No matter where I go.

There you are.

 

Midnight memories never sleep. At two a.m. they haven’t ceased

when I’m reliving what I could have done but didn’t,

remembering the way it was and now it isn’t;

listening to the last words we said to one another

trying to be right and never wrong. 

What good is it now, now that you’re gone?

 

Even though I closed and bolted the door,

you keep breaking into my already broken heart.

How do I live when Life with you no longer exists

and Life without you is just a distraction?

Forever is supposed to mean everlasting

but the only thing that is lasting is the pain;

There you are.

WHY IS IT ME? 

 Why is it me who always falls in love?

Why can’t it be me who never does?

Why is it me who’s the one who loses in the end?

Someone got hurt. It’s me again.

Why is it me?

 Why is it me who gets the broken heart?

Why can’t he be the one to fall apart?

Why is it me all the time? Me who always cries?

I’d like to be the one saying goodbye.

But it’s not me.

When’s it my turn? It just isn’t fair.

When’s it my turn not to care?

Let it be somebody else trying to forget.

Someone is leaving. It’s me being left.

Why is it me?

 When will I learn that lovers only lie?

I just get burned putting out the fire.

Wish it were him instead of me that’s feeling all the pain.

Wish it were him that’s saying why is it me.

Why is it me?

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