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WHERE WOULD I GO?

I absconded into night, taking the darkness with me
so there would be no shadows on your eyes when morning awoke;
that beams of light sifting through the windows,
could bathe your face, coaxing your lids to open.

No need to search for where I am.
Where would I go?
I dwell in the interim between and beyond earth and sky,  –everywhere and nowhere, where Time is not–beyond reach of each;
Yet I harbor the vicissitudes of both states in every thought you have of me,
every word you speak of me, in every memory you know as me.
My voice resounds in your laughter,
reverberates like cathedral bells calling the faithful.
Look above. The saturated clouds are swollen
with your tears I weep.
Look below, look within. There is no place I am not.
I am the sun on your shoulders
when you walk to the ocean’s edge
and cast your eyes on the shimmering necklace
that clings to the shoreline,
blinking like diamonds as it washes across the sand;
the surge of joy, gratitude, and humility you feel swelling within you like the tide itself. 

Do not mourn.
Listen to the earth’s soul breathing in and breathing out.
Let it wash over you, pulling away the barnacles.
Every time you count the colors of blue in the ocean,
watch the birds soar into infinity,
or see the miracle of a bud bursting into flower,
I will  exist in all these things.
When I walked through the door, taking the darkness with me,
I found…. not death, but life.

IN MEMORIAM: On the death of a friend

YOU SHALL NOT FADE

When the Seasons are measured on my face
and settle across my brow
and the rattling bones of Winter moan
with bent and broken boughs;
When its final breath and hoary death
is a shroud hanging o’er my eyes,
You shall not fade. The masquerade is…
only the form will die.

When Autumn looms,
confetti colored leaves start turning brown
in a grand ballet
—their fated way of returning to the ground.
In the journey back from whence they came
–a secret lies therein–
You shall not fade.
You always were and will be once again.

On zephyr breeze,
the yawning buds will herald the coming Spring
with butterflies and buttercups
and mountain streams that sing.
For eyes to see and ears to hear
lies the secret of all forms–
You shall not fade.
Within the seed you are the yet unborn.

Summer smiles on fields of daisies
laughing in its face
trying to outrun the sun,
but Destiny awaits.
What comes along, will also go
within a world of change.
You shall not fade.
You always are, and you alone remain.

 

 

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BOOK ANNOUNCEMENT…

Coming soon – The upcoming release of Ronaye’s  book by British publisher in London, England; to be available on Amazon.

                                    

                 …with a broken wing
Expressions of
the Human Spirit

poems by Ronaye Hudyma

Description:

Whether contemporary, classic, or peppered with Elizabethan eloquence, this profound ensemble of 130 poems is not stationary. They move as if conducted with a maestro’s baton –fluid between the euphoria of life and love, the drama, the anguish of death and loss, with every nuance of human emotion spilling upon the pages.

They are poignant words written with the transparency of youth, gathering maturity and experience, evolving to wisdom, into the spiritual realm.

This is not just poetry. There are a million stories in each poem. Once for each of us. From the teenager discovering their individuality, the young adult challenged by relationships and the world around them, to the Elder denizens of Earth, who cherish their memories as veterans of life, this is a book to be read and reread, a keepsake to console, embrace and affirm your recognition of the truth within yourself that is already there.

 

 

 

 

THERE YOU ARE

 Instinctively, I reach out to the empty side of the bed where once you were,

and there you are

in the first thought of the morning:

It was not supposed to happen. But it did.

It was not supposed to be this way. But it is.

 

I rummage through the closet trying to decide what to wear,

and, yes, you are even in there;

your favorite dress I wore the last time I saw you–

hidden in the back against the wall.

Your clothes still fill the dresser drawer,

But you won’t need them anymore.

 

So many things I have yet to relearn:

One for breakfast, or none at all,

two cups for coffee, then putting one back;

expecting to see you sitting in that chair–

you’re everywhere but there.

No matter where I go.

There you are.

 

Midnight memories never sleep. At two a.m. they haven’t ceased

when I’m reliving what I could have done but didn’t,

remembering the way it was and now it isn’t;

listening to the last words we said to one another

trying to be right and never wrong. 

What good is it now, now that you’re gone?

 

Even though I closed and bolted the door,

you keep breaking into my already broken heart.

How do I live when Life with you no longer exists

and Life without you is just a distraction?

Forever is supposed to mean everlasting

but the only thing that is lasting is the pain;

There you are.

The Final Humbling

They say when someone dear to you dies,

a bit of yourself dies with them.

It was like that;

the unmistakable smell of disinfectant and despair,

the sound of my heels clicking against the marble tiles

of an endless labyrinth

like a clock ticking off the seconds to eternity.

“Dad?”

He looked like a giant oak tree felled in the forest,

its strength sapped, its boughs gnarled and broken.

It wasn’t just the grief and disbelief

boring and twisting inside me like an auger,

but the silence within; waiting for the answers that never came.

In that moment, time had stopped and left me standing there

drowning in a whirlpool of insufferable sorrow.

The wind blew a requiem, the rain stopped falling.

Then soft as a whisper,

a shroud of gray clouds moved in and draped over the Pacific.

Beads of water dripped from the branches of the trees

like a lady shedding her diamonds.

Tendrils of mist clung to the mountain’s feet

as I watched the ocean carry him away.