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POEMS

All copyrights by Ronaye Hudyma. All rights reserved

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A LULLABY

Move closer to me. Nearer still.

Tell me again–the same words you spoke as you lay in my arms,

when last I woke to find you there. 

How sweet the song– 

a melody in whispered tones.

The heavens smiled and harmonized

as I looked into and through your eyes  

listening to the lullaby of the rain.

I need nothing else.  Just this.

No next kiss, no reassurance to dream by. 

If Life had no other merit that even Sages

throughout the ages could not comprehend–

confounding their senses, addling their brains–

it would be this:

You in my arms and the lullaby of the rain.

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HOWLING AT THE MOON

 It was subtle at first, barely there

 a familiar complaint you ignore, 

an annoying idle ache from an old injury  

or a new wound that chafes and stings on the surface– maybe it won’t be so bad–   

boring a hole, deeper, wider, gnawing through the skin ’til it bleeds.

A dribble turned deluge

that a drink can’t dispel or drive away. 

 

You’re in its grip, lose control 

consumed as it takes you over completely,

washing over you like a wave dragging you under,

pulling you down, down, down into the depths

until there is nothing else

and you find yourself howling at the moon.

 

It’s the silent scream on every face, 

with shoulders sagging beneath the weight;

sowing seeds for more despair

with the same choices that brought you there.

 It starts with a thought that talks to you                    

 convincing you the thought is you.                      

It mocks, it scorns, wails and moans 

and you’re howling at the moon.

 

When suffering’s too much to bear, you’re ready to see what’s kept you there

What can you do to stop the pain–that same nightmare again and again?

You watch the rage that’s burning through you.

Feel the emotion–not what it’s saying to you;

Then more and more it will be less and less;

then all your attention will be all that’s left.

SPOILED BRAT

 

She’s always doing just what she likes.

Na, na, na, she’s a spoiled brat.

Sleeps all day and stays up all night.

Na, na, na, she’s a spoiled brat.

She’s a foxy lady, she’s a first class act,

She can purr like a kitten, she can scratch like a cat.

She’s an uptown baby living high and fast.

Na, na, na, she’s a spoiled brat.

 

Too hot to handle, too easy to love,

Na, na, na, she’s a spoiled brat.

You can take it if you’re man enough.

Na, na, na, she’s a spoiled brat.

She’s a Broadway baby, she’s an LA lass,

She’s as wild as a tabby and she’ll sass you back

She’s a neon lady with a lot of flash.

Na, na, na, she’s a spoiled brat.

 

Big city baby’s a special breed.

Na, na, na, she’s a spoiled brat.

Child of the bright lights, queen of the streets.

Na, na, na, she’s a spoiled brat.

She’s a foxy lady, she’s a first class act,

She can purr like a kitten, she can scratch like a cat.

She’s an uptown baby living high and fast.

Na, na, na, she’s a spoiled brat.

She’s a Broadway baby, she’s an LA lass,

She’s as wild as a tabby and she’ll sass you back

She’s a neon lady with a lot of flash.

Na, na, na, she’s a spoiled brat.

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WHAT OF LOVE?

All was not lost;

even though  

there was no sky for birds to fly into–

just invisible space swallowing the blue;

And nightingales without a song         

sang off-key because you were gone.

As darkness stuttered into day

the moon turned its back, the sun looked away.

 

 I didn’t think that I could live… But I did.

A broken heart cannot forgive… But it did.

Our  memories blurred into the past

seasoned with scars and stains–they, too, will pass.

 

And what of Love? Where did it go?

It’s that invisible space from which all things flow

that interprets what and how you see; 

within you, within me

that colors what and how you view,

determines what you’re looking through.      

           

The sky returned, shocked into blue

with endless space which birds flew through.

Nightingales sang, with moon and stars….

because I AM, because YOU ARE.

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HOW MANY HEART BEATS?

How many heart beats did it take for me to find you?

The sea was lost in search of the shore,

wandering with no direction…until there was you;

When permanent gray yielded to the perpetual blue in your eyes

as the clouds broke apart to make room for your smile

and the winds deferred to you, moving around you;

When rivers splashed against their banks, overflowing, giving thanks.

 How many heart beats did we have left?

Our hearts merged and raced ahead to save our place for one more tomorrow, 

that every beat and word you speak, another day would break

and the sun could hardly wait to light up your face.

Just one more night.

As stars converge around your hair,

Let me be there.

 

How many heart beats did we squander,

never to retrieve?

When Time crawled in on hands and knees –separating us, dividing us,

’til our one heart beat no more.

The sky opened up, the clocks wound down–

and the cry of gulls mimicked mine.

LIFE IN THE CITY

Life in the city is cold and fast

I’m in it for the money, but the money don’t last.

Take me back to a simpler time

when living wasn’t living for the dollar sign.

Life in the city’s where you lose your soul.

I’m working for my pay but I don’t make what I owe.

Life in the city is the best you can buy.

I’m in it to the limit but I don’t know why.

 

I’ve been here way too long

But I still stay, still stay on.

All these years all I’ve earned is what I know now

and what I’ve learned

From life in the city where they’re selling hope.

You pay for your chances but you lose when you’re broke.

Take me back to where I used to be before life in the city took the life out of me.

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WHAT DID YOU LEARN?

From a spark in the dark, this world exists

as someone’s last breath, or another’s first kiss.

Another story to be told, another day as years unfold

when forever-young starts growing old,

What will you learn?

 

The ebb and flow that came and went, 

through Seasons of your discontent

with wrack and ruin of despair, 

upended dreams no longer there 

that shouldn’t die, couldn’t fail;

but, alas, strong bones will soon be frail.

What did you learn?

 

Did you do what you were told just to appease them?

Be what it was they wanted? You believed them 

to finally find a place where you belong

Then, when you thought you had it–not for long.

Your unfulfillment never leaves. 

It stalks and haunts, without reprieve.

Close at hand–near or far; wherever you go…there you are.

An inner peace eluded you, and Time, how it  deluded you;

for nothing lingers, nothing lasts–

your future replicates the past.

Did you doze through your entire  life,  

 or through the dark, become the light?

What did you learn?

 

 Speak softly when you talk. Your path is strewn along the way 

with every deed and word you say. 

Choose wisely as you walk. With every step and choice you make

 is why you’re here–to be awake. 

 

It was never meant to end like this.

You weren’t aware that you exist.

With the last verse of your last song,

your little self and history– gone!

If all you knew and nothing else

was only but your surface self; 

If nothing changed, then what remains 

will want to do it all again.

Or did you learn the secret that was always there?

Return to Source, return to Home–this time aware.